Heiko Julien is the author of "I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death."

  • cosmicassassin
  • teendream69
  • 1-800-ghost-dance
  • weedtemple
  • come-downstairs
  • vicemag
  • jaygabler
  • oscob
  • cactus-breath
  • minimist
  • popserial
  • huey-nudist-and-the-ludes
  • homosuperiorr
  • eveningascent
  • purplemonkeysexgod69
  • hyperallergic
  • snckpck
  • lookatallthisstuff
  • concepthuman
  • cxu
  • pizzzatime
  • powercrystals
  • scape-ghost
  • l0stinallthesestreetlights
  • damloz
  • sonictitans
  • worldsplayer
  • marginalutilite
  • thelovelybonesz
  • and-everything-goes-downhill
  • greeneyedtexan
  • barefootphotog
  • danieltoumine
  • cuttyspot
  • fruitsoftheweb
  • resonance-filter
  • noglykon
  • onehundreddollars
  • bazook
  • internetpoetry
  • luangsrinhothak
  • indyaf
  • thatlitsite
  • chomptime
  • axe-adze
  • modfashionguru
  • les-autres-arachnides
  • existssometimes
  • ccmpress
  • multienergies
  • bobschofield
  • concretekids
  • trashlord
  • lecoeurdeelizabeth
  • reluhcsannait
  • forloveofbeingamystery
  • cassandragillig
  • thesunshineofkatt
  • artwerk6666
  • sarahjeanalex
  • doubletriplezero
  • mindjuice
  • samidumont
  • kenny-miller
  • lk-shaw
  • believermag
  • possiblegod
  • stantonmika
  • proofmathisbeautiful
  • postbromanticism
  • russiawithoutputin
  • glee-is-epic
  • moontempleuniverse
  • altcomics
  • liamvunktammer
  • postreligion
  • rhys-nixon
  • letsbukowski
  • chemicalfreee
  • dubsideofthemind
  • detrituz
  • derwents
  • hallucinatingflowers
  • shibuffalo
  • literallyunbelievable
  • artoverwhelms
  • iavn
  • snackssnackssnacks
  • comakid
  • algunos
  • mbkrstn
  • hgiesseman-19
  • kathleenjoy
  • riicequeen
  • zoeyandstevethecorgi
  • xixnerox
  • vxnillah
  • xmajinx
  • love-gilda
  • exquisite-c-orpse
  • tiveposts
  • gwaningirl
  • chucklingpecan
  • xpdalia
  • asimomar94
  • futurebones
  • carousels-and-fairy-lights
  • popejoanna
  • soleilolsen
  • ouija-ashes
  • friedeggsandwiches
  • retro8owl
  • tropic-al-daisy
  • wrotethiswheniwasbroke
  • ghost--jam
  • furthershores
  • glowing-halo
  • internetlucy
  • ryojiotani
  • matthew-landry
  • neon-helmet
  • whatsgravybaby
  • austincharcoal
  • trackmeetdjcrew
  • zhyljnn
  • inhuldible-crelk
  • cholabrown
  • chloenietzsche
  • pesoeyes
  • lilylovelylies
  • johnmaus
  • thebluecollarhustle
  • archangelmiha
  • garretschuelke
  • joebussiere
  • flaming-nips
  • socratescloset
  • teenbitchclub
  • hugehurfner
  • sadgirlcore
  • philosophia-perennis
  • sunnysmiley
  • kittysaysmeow17
  • missdaisyj
  • dorothyhoward
  • mollysoda
  • canfly
  • ossacoxae
  • textbeak
  • johnnyfreedomfries
  • siberianprince
  • s-b-r-n
  • 180mph
  • thegreatcratsby
  • thewidestsmilingfaces
  • suelitabanana
  • printedinternet
  • redsandgrays
  • fateisforlosers
  • eyelovedog
  • midnightchale13
  • sspork
  • titanleterrible
  • ivegotbigbigplans
  • 12hourrelief
  • fuckingold
  • diffint
  • tr-ips
  • solanna67
  • veryproudjellyspine
  • mountainhippie
  • somemidnightsunshine
  • katejustkate
  • divorce
  • magicktrance
  • crahptahp
  • katiejeanshinkle
  • murooned
  • dicklessturdpusher
  • godvomit
  • puppygamer-deactivated-forever
  • angelamilk
  • my-aquarian-angel
  • magicfades
  • theothimo
  • quagomay
  • evildesign
  • charleyfoster
  • fabulousraye
  • beachsloth
  • richardchiem
  • whereallthegoodthingsare
  • pizzafreek
  • joyful-soundd
  • challalalla
  • bodylonging
  • jamesbrownisdead
  • emperorsrobes
  • lucille-berkowitz
  • calveropoetry
  • krankles
  • toyotatasia87
  • lydiateasedale
  • d4br4t
  • endlesspoet
  • limb-of-satan
  • lkwldn
  • xmaslemmings
  • malak3s
  • buildcastles-in-air
  • calculucas
  • peoplearemyreligion
  • moopachoo
  • syntaxandsemantics
  • theneweryork
  • lazybeachguy840
  • koniges
  • viibz
  • rialovesorcas
  • freeurmindandfresh
  • livemylief
  • cactus-cock
  • night-tripper
  • rkellylyrics
  • liftedbrow
  • amementomori
  • dialoghost
  • yung-r1ch-b1tch
  • vizualfrenzy
  • cheatedmyself
  • liefplus
  • tokyogals
  • thesimpsonswayoflife
  • espino-art
  • restosuniversitaires
  • heatheriswatching
  • helloholiday
  • casualmalexlfan
  • blahhrgfu
  • zibazehdar
  • johnnyhockin
  • altlitgossip
  • ecofrat
  • gardenofroses24
  • locknchase
  • veryverylightcombat
  • process-vision
  • jeanwhy
  • girlinternet
  • altlitpress
  • beautifulurself
  • dimwitdormouse
  • echochamberclap
  • trusimplcity
  • wishing-about-wishing
  • heartsofclearestglass
  • guillotines
  • self-titledmag
  • miratortilla
  • altcrit
  • thejogging
  • floatingamongtherest
  • kingboboy10
  • coldbrain
  • internetshaman
  • kittydothedishes
  • daveisok
  • eatsleepprey
  • counting-the-pennies
  • king-grandma
  • seanneshine
  • shanloves
  • boy-hell
  • dougie4christ
  • thisisfictional
  • pantsofsand
  • happyrockisabook
  • 4871941
  • masloveka
  • chanelashlynn
  • lonelyscribbles
  • jennybitez
  • justtanother-nobody
  • scarymansion
  • i-d-g-i
  • gottahavefaith777
  • errour
  • prospective-underachiever
  • boobistababy
  • irlisdead
  • beyoncepoopstoo
  • itsirrational
  • self-styled-gangsta
  • sophia-katz
  • fuckfuckhorrorsodomydeathfuck
  • kawaiitittties
  • sexpigeon
  • totalbabe
  • honeyiwantyou
  • guillaumemorissette

Follow heikojulien on Twitter


great poem by @santinodela from the yolo pages thank you @boosthouse



great poem by @santinodela from the yolo pages thank you @boosthouse



3 Steps To Change Your Life Today! (These Are Steps The Government Does NOT Want You To Know!!!) by Heiko Julien

                Heiko Julien offers some advice for those who follow him on the Internet. A few of these tips appear to be relatively self-involved. Life on the Internet has been infinitely kind to Heiko Julien which is why his first step seems out of place.

                Getting off the Internet is tough. People spend their entire lives on the Internet. Life without the Internet is difficult. The reasoning behind Heiko Julien’s advice makes a great deal of sense. With fewer individuals on the Internet Heiko Julien’s Internet speed increases dramatically. Other individuals on the Internet slow down Heiko Julien’s access to the Internet. Heiko Julien misses the Internet like the deserts miss the rain. Clearly this is why Heiko Julien wants fewer people on the Internet. Maybe paying more money for a faster Internet connection would make more sense but Heiko Julien isn’t into that. 

                Better clothes do make a great lick of sense. Akin to the cowlick the sense lick is quite intelligent. Heiko Julien shows off the expensive outfit he purchased using the power of money. Money is quite expensive nowadays via the low wages people typically earn. Thankfully Heiko Julien does good work in trying to bring money into his life. He is a hard worker and in exchange for his nine to five efforts he is rewarded with sweet looking clothes. Nature clearly appreciates his efforts to try and spruce up his image. People go up to Heiko Julien all the time remarking at his good taste in North Face. 

                Emotions are the hardest things to change. That is what Heiko Julien recommends. New emotions make a new person. It is that simple though it might not initially seem that way. People trade in their emotions all the time. Childhood has one set of emotions creative ones. The teenage years arrive and suddenly they bring in a whole set of difficult. Everybody hates their teenage years which is why people wonder what happens after High School. The world after High School is fairly ambiguous. 

                Anything can happen in adulthood. People have the choice to approach their life from the comfort of their own home. Responsibility lingers above them hoping for the absolute best. The problem with responsibility is that people consider it a burden. Responsibility does not need to be a burden it should be something to work towards. Like improving emotions, responsibility can be a great thing. When others are able to rely on each other it forms a community of friends.


  • Heiko Julien
  • Seattle
  • Chillwave, Hypangogic Pop, Downtempo

What is your relationship with adrenaline? When that energy rises up in you, what do you believe it means? Do you associate an increased heart rate with fear or pride? Have you recognized yet that it’s just energy? You can use it any way you choose.

Other people are the only point. They want power and so do you. The United States won’t be around forever and neither will you. Put sequins and rhinestones on your resume.

When I was five years old, I put my hand in my grandma’s dog’s food dish while it was eating and it bit my hand. I was upset but the dog was right.

Maybe you should be worried. There may be a reason to dread your friends, family, and co-workers. Perhaps you’ve felt yourself assimilating negatively. Adopting toxic behavioral patterns. Generating a Whack Aura. Everyone’s fake confidence could be rubbing off on you. Your chubby buddies could be making you plump. Studies say one is liable to be influenced by the eating patterns of a fat friend even if they live in another country. Correlation or cause? Your dad is bald and your hair is thinning. Chicken or egg? Your mother never could keep her face out of a mirror and you’re posting pictures of yourself on the Internet for approval.

Not fitting in is a good way to go crazy. Giving in to others weak tendencies is a wonderful way to mute your talents. You may forget your grace eventually. You might practice it alone. The balance can be struck together. Things could be better than they are.

Imagining our ancestors eating rotten food until they developed resistance to bacteria. Grinding against each other until modern genitals formed. Repressing their emotions until they could finally sit still in a boardroom meeting. Drinking poison until it was fun to talk to strangers. Becoming self aware until they were self conscious.

The Victorians had as many words for depression as Eskimos have for snow.

List Of Actresses I Imagine My Sister Admires But Have Not Bothered To Ask

Meryl Streep: The pre-eminent diva emeritus, Ms. Streep has been tearing it up on stage and screen since before Beyoncé ever woke up like anything at all. I don’t know because I haven’t bothered to ask, but my sister seems like she has probably watched “The Devil Wears Prada” on DVD and related to Anne Hathaway’s character… but secretly admired Meryl’s. I ain’t mad!

Audrey Hepburn: The Divine Ms. H(??), Audrey Hepburn only starred in six films, I once told my dad while “My Fair Lady” played on Turner Classic Movies. He told me that couldn’t be right and swiftly logged on to IMDB to prove me wrong. My sister wasn’t present for this incident, but I imagine she would have ignored us and focused on the film.

Oprah Winfrey: Technically an actress, who alive doesn’t admire Lady O? (??) Sure, haters abound when it comes to the subject of a proud, assertive lady-billionaire, but my sister has never been one to be swayed by popular opinion or arbitrary hatred. In all likelihood, and I don’t know for sure, I’m just guessing, she admires Oprah for her strength and passion but, like many of us, didn’t make the leap to the Oprah Network. Ces la vie. Maybe next time!

Dakota Fanning: My sister may or may not know who this person is, but if she did, I am certain that she would admire Ms. Fanning’s precocious attitude and steadfast gumption. Gumption in regards to what, however, I am not sure. Note that, in this example, my sister is admiring Dakota Fanning as a child actress and is uninterested in her adult career.

Amy Adams: Like many (some?) of us, my sister may have seen “Doubt” for the predictably solid Meryl Streep performance but was blown away by Ms. Adams’ screen presence. My sister, probably, came for the Streep and stayed for the Adams, so to speak. I mean, I can only assume. I have no idea. She may have also seen the Muppet Movie, which I think Amy Adams was also in, but your guess is as good as mine on that one.


Seven Syllables Of A Haiku Obscured By A Vegan Hotdog, 2014Alt-Lit***


Seven Syllables Of A Haiku Obscured By A Vegan Hotdog, 2014



Who is alt lit?


Here is an article that answers that question you have been asking. Who? Is? Alt Lit? Also What is Alt Lit? is answered as well. There’s lots of it at the library; we are cutting edge.